Thursday, April 4, 2013
We are in Ohio for Spring Break and it's been really really fun. I've enjoyed catching up with some classmates, and old friends that I haven't seen in a very long time. We've tried to keep a low key approach to everything and not schedule so many things at once and just kind of let things happen as they will, but that's hard to do at times. A couple of my days have been very very jammed packed and that's OK too.
The memories of my friends from school and family aren't the only memories I've endured this vacation. While going to visit a friend of mine, we took the highway that instantly brought me back to 2005 and being rushed to a bigger hospital because I was in labor at 24 weeks (had him at 25 weeks 3 days). I was calmly talking to my husband about what I remembered about the drive to the hospital, what the EMT said and how I just wanted her to shut the hell up already. This particular road is very very very bumpy and goes on for quite a few miles. Every bump raised goosebumps on my arm, and made me sicker and sicker to my stomach. Tears were definitely near and so I talked and talked and talked to try and squelch them. But, there came a time when the story ended and it got quiet..
5 seconds after being quiet, I started crying like a baby. Full on huge tears, sniffling and snotting, feeling like a panic attack was near and topped off with heavy breathing with me trying to calm myself. Not so good while driving, let me tell ya!
I hate the little things like that. You think you forget, you suppress memories like that, only for them to come roaring back to the surface and it nearly debilitates you. A scent..a sound..a conversation can instantly make you feel so small and weak.
I consider myself a very strong person. But even I have limits, I guess...