Tuesday, November 27, 2012

I thought

Ugh. I thought, after over two years ago of having surgery, that I would be better. Granted, I can walk, but it's not a normal walk. I still walk with a limp, I still go up stairs slowly and down them sideways. I still have pain all the time. Sometimes, it's not so bad, other times...I am down for the count and J has to take over for me. Then there are some days, that no matter what, I have to be up taking care of everything. I may be in massive pain, but I can't stop for it. Those are the days that suck. Normally, J will do whatever needs to be done and is a very big help! I'm glad I have him!

My leg still has a lot of numbness/nerve damage. It will never go away. 2 doctors have now said that they doubt very much I could hold a job. I can't sit for long periods of time, I can't stand for long periods of time, I can't bend a lot, or crouch or lift or strain. Whenever I want to have a good whole body stretch, I can't, because my leg will go into having multiple cramps and those hurt like hell.

Now on top of all this, my knee has decided that it wants to be heard and has started hurting a lot. So now on top of my already noticeable limp, I have an even bigger one. If it doesn't stop, I will have to go to the doctors and get it figured out.

I'm too young for this garbage!! I'm supposed to be able to get down on the floor and play with my kids. Get in and out of the car without pulling my leg in and out. I'm only 34!

I could scream, shout and bitch about the injustice of it all and how unfair it is. But, I know there are people out there with a lot more problems than I have. I am lucky to be where I'm at.

But it just sucks.


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