Monday, July 2, 2012

Facing Facts

So we might be going to Florida in about a month and I can't wait. We've been doing a little "summer" cleaning. Decluttering from the stuff that's been cluttering up since "spring" cleaning. I've been meaning to clean out my closets and rid myself of clothes I haven't worn since I was pregnant with my first over 7 years ago.

Let's just face it. No matter how many diets I try, how far I can (or can't in my case) walk every day, I'm just not going to lose all the weight to fit in those old clothes. Unless I get weight loss surgery, which may still be an option maybe in another 1-2 years. My body, my hips and my loving c-section "flap" are not going to go away by themselves. I've had 3 pregnanices, 2 live born children and one abdominal hysterectomy, gallbladder removal, a D&C, a small tumor removal in my pelvic region, major back surgery and an appendectomy. That's a lot of surgery for the central section of my body. Muscles and tissues were cut a ton and more than likely cannot bounce back after all this time.

My back surgery, and all the arthritis still in it, and the fact I need another disc worked on, and I now have gout in my left foot, which is the same foot/leg that has nerve damage from the back surgery. Gout is also a form of arthritis. I just can't lose what I want to to make me happy, by myself.

It sounds like a lot of excuses, and it is, I know that. But when your spirit is crushed from eating right, or eating less carbs or drinking lots and lots of nothing but water and nothing is working, then it's hard to keep a good mind about things.

So for now, I'll purge my closets, and get rid of the image of what my body used to look like, try and be more accepting of myself and work on being a less stressed Mom and Wife. Work on my goal of getting weight loss surgery and do what I can to keep myself more active and push through the pain of where my back surgery has landed me.

I also have to realize that I'm realatively healthy. I don't have insulin problems, diabetes, high blood pressure or heart problems. My cholesterol could use some lowering, though.

So here I go, to let go of some 8+ year old clothing that I haven't worn in a very very very long time!


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