It's Just One Of Those Days....

To say I worry about A's future would be putting it mildly. I worry about his lack of friends, how much he'll be picked on or if he will even make it through school without us having to pull him for home schooling. I'm not against home schooling, just would rather him be in public school where he could get his speech therapy and learn to have to behave in a group setting. Yes, I do use public schooling as a form of socialization for my children. I readily admit that. Where we live, there are no kids, there are only 2 cousins that we may see 3 times a year and we can't really afford outside sports just yet. So yes, there you have it, an honest answer.

If you didn't know, my son A, was born at 36 weeks, just a week shy of full term, a late gestation preemie, as they put it. He didn't need anywhere NEAR the help S did at his 25 week birth, though! I'm finding it odd that my little 25 weeker is in need of a TON less help now, than my almost full term kiddo. A needs speech therapy and glasses because he is farsighted and has muscle problems in his eyes the may require surgery. S needs only glasses for reading and computer work. Back to A now. He has something called Childhood Apraxia of Speech. You can click on that highlight area to check out what it is exactly. Hopefully, with a lot of time and a lot of speech therapy, he will one day, talk normally and you will never have known that he had difficulties with speech. That's my ultimate hope, anyhow. My dream, to be exact.

It pains me to see one of my children go through something like this. I know that in the end, the struggle and the hard work he puts into it will make him all the more better, but for now, I can't help but worry about him. All I have ever wanted for my children was for them to be "normal". To go to school, have some good friends, have a normal elementary, middle and high school years. Maybe throw some sports in there, or some other sort of club, maybe a girlfriend, you know, the "normal" stuff. Maybe I've been looking at things through rose colored glasses. Maybe I need to embrace and accept the fact that this is our "normal" for now, and just be happy and not so worried about things to come.

No one ever said being a parent is easy. As Elizabeth Stone once said, and I quote, "“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”