Monday, June 13, 2011
I cannot believe I haven't posted since May, over a month now. So much has happened that I just don't know where to even start. One major and sad thing that did happen was that my aunt died. She's been fighting breast cancer for 3+ years, it spread to her ovaries and in the end, it went to her brain. I always had lots of hope for her, she fought so hard, but when the brain cancer diagnosis came back, I just knew she didn't have much longer to live. She died on her birthday, at exactly 50 years old.
My aunt and I have had a rocky sort of relationship. Growing up, I knew she favored a few other cousins over my siblings and I. I really thought she didn't like me and I always stayed nervous and scared around her. I don't know why, she never physically hurt us..or even yelled at us. But when S was born..she really showed a completely different side. She was so supportive and loved to get S new things. She bought me a rocking chair when S finally came home from the hospital. On our last trip back to Ohio, she doted over my kids. Giving them candy, letting them get away with murder and keeping a smile on her face. I could really tell she had changed over the years and really enjoyed her life and family now. She didn't have a husband or kids of her own, but she loved everyone else's. Her death has been taken very hard by all my family. I don't think a day goes by without someone writing on her wall on Facebook. She will be greatly missed and that hole in the family, where she should be, will never ever be filled.
I never thought in a million years I'd be old enough to start losing close family members. I know everyone dies and no one is guaranteed tomorrow or the next on this earth, it's just a little surreal when your grandparents or uncles and aunts are dying and you are old enough to see it and know what's happening. You are old enough to feel that pain and sorrow and void in your family structure. You can see the faces of your family members as they grieve for the lost loved one. Sometimes, I dream of what it's like to be a kid again. The innocence of it all and your parents trying to shield you from some of the roughness of life.
But with death, comes life.....
My friend, Carrie, had a new baby! She is beautiful and is already bringing so much joy to her Mommy, Daddy and Big Brother! So welcome, Madison Grace! You are going to be so very loved! I hope I get to meet you soon!
So that's it for my new post. Maybe the reason I've been feeling so..wound up tight..is because I haven't been blogging. I guess I didn't realize how much I have missed it! I think my next post will be about S's Kindy graduation and some wonderful news I got after their ceremony! I couldn't be happier!