Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I finally gave up and decided to run the recovery program on our computer. After dealing with it shutting down every 20 minutes and then Windows and Firefox started shutting down, I got tired of it. I lost a lot of great pictures in the process, but I am happy to have a running computer again. It turns out, after running two virus programs on it, that we had a Trojan. How we got it, I'll never know, but it's taken care of now and for backup, I bought and downloaded another virus protection program. So that makes about 3 we have going. We have Norton, Windows Defender and Stop Sign. All with pop up blockers and firewalls.

Easter was a disaster. I didn't let on for the kids that I came in contact with. But it really really does only take one person to ruin everything. Nuff said on that I guess. I don't care if family may come across my blog, I'm just not going to relive it again. I already called a couple friends and complained to them about it, wasted their time and bitched way too much on the subject. No use in hashing it up all the time. Karma is a bitch and really what goes around does come back around.

I have a post-op appointment tomorrow. I'm so glad I'm feeling better. I'm not nauseous all day every day. I'm not getting full after a few bites, and I don't have tons of indigestion after everything I eat. It's glorious!! I never thought I could feel so good. Also, losing almost 40lbs wasn't so bad either. I feel great there and plan on continuing to lose weight. Only, this time, I plan on doing it the right way and not the "my gallbladder is not working right and I stay sick all the time" way.

With J's family in from Alabama, I got to hold a little 5 month old girl. Oh my. Sweet big blue eyes, perfect and fair porcelain skin. She was sick with an ear infection, and wasn't sleeping right. I felt horrible for her. A suffered from ear infections for a loonnggg time and I still do as an adult, horrible ones at that from time to time, so I knew she was not well. She fell asleep on my shoulder after a round of ear drops and Motrin and a bottle.

Trust me when I say that my ovaries hurt and twitched.

She fell asleep to me humming my all time favorite tune and me lightly patting her bottom and back. I used to hum the little nursery song from Lady and the Tramp to S and A when they were babies and that's what I hummed to her. I had tears in my eyes. She actually made me cry. Either that or the memory of my own two little ones (who are not so little anymore). She slept for nearly 30 minutes before waking up in a good mood. Her Mommy said she only sleeps about 10 minutes at a time, and couldn't believe she slept that long on me. I could tell she felt better and the meds were working. I sat and played with her and she smiled and cooed and talking and screeched and did all the things a 5 month old baby does.

Then I started second guessing myself. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten my tubes tied. Maybe I should have had one more. I asked J if he was feeling the same way and he said "Just a little". We both know the responsible thing to do was for me to get my tubes tied, but that doesn't make that yearning go away when it rears it's ugly head. Especially since we have one that didn't get a chance to be in our family.

Well anyhow...

The planned trip has now become a "Should we go to Alabama or Ohio" trip this summer. I guess I have a few things drawing me to Ohio and a few to Alabama. But Ohio might have to win out for the simple fact that we have not been up there since A was 5 months old and he's now 25 months old. So..umm..yeah....


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