Thursday, January 8, 2009
I have lots of things swirling through my mind here lately. The biggest of which is the 10th of January being the 2nd year my grandfather has been gone. I truly cannot get across in words, just how WONDERFUL a man he was. Sometimes, I try not to think of him, because it just brings tears. I know that I should think of the good times and I do, but sometimes, I just want to be selfish and want him back. My grandmother had book marks made with a poem on one side and his obit on the other. I keep it above me in the driver's side visor. Sometimes, I take it out while I'm waiting for J or something, and read it. Instant tears. Instant thoughts of what could have been. Instant thought of what should be. Then the harsh reality of what is. It's not fair to take such a wonderful individual from this earth.
Another is, Valentine's Day will be the 3rd year J's mother has been gone. Due to lots of problems with her, I was never close to her, never got to know her really. Well, I did get to know her, but it wasn't the good side of her. A little lesson: Prescription drug abuse is alive in this country and it is a HORRID thing. J has been missing both his mom and dad lately. As we get older, I guess we realize the complete value and love of having family.
Today is the big day. Office visit with the Gyno. Gotta love it. I gotta figure out why I am in pain and nauseated most the time. No, I'm not pregnant. I do know this for a fact. I don't know why I hate these types of doctor visits, and really, what woman DOES? I'm not shy or embarrassed, good lord, I've had two kids, and after just having one, all your dignity goes right out the door, and you don't really care..Ha! It's just..I'm not pregnant this time, and noone should be down there, looking at things anymore! Ok, enough TMI.
Hopefully things are ok in that department, and Aunt Flow is just delaying her visit (for the 3rd month in a row). Yeah. Fun times.