Thursday, December 11, 2008
December 12th will be J and I's 5th anniversary. Seems strange to me. Not really, but kinda. 5 years and 2 kids later and we are still going strong. Some "things" may have gone out of our relationship. Mainly time for just me and him, but hey, what can ya do?
I really could not imagine my life without my husband. If I had wallowed in self pity over my first husband, I might have not met J. Instead, I took what I learned from my first husband, and how much I did for him and his health and son, and applied it back into MY life. I don't think my first husband and I had any sort of love for each other. I mean, I did love him. I worried about him, took care of him, made sure he had what he needed. Everything I did was for him. I loved his son (Still do. If I could find his contact info, I would love to see him again) like he was my own. I felt so guilty after my first husband died. Like I had done something wrong. Like I wasn't meant to have anyone in my life. I kept wondering if I had just loved him more, would he still be here?
I couldn't live like that. So the sooner I started living for me, the better off I was.
And it's been 5 years. I can honestly say that I don't feel guilty for moving on in my life.
I have a wonderful, loving, romantic, positive, supportive and hard working husband and two beautiful kids. If I hadn't have met J..I wouldn't have those things. I can only hope we have quite a few more years together..but I'm sure we will.