Friday, March 15, 2013

Not feeling it

I am feeling like the worst Mother in the world right now.

Our eldest son is in 2nd grade and just had his very FIRST parent/teacher conference.

First we got to hear them go through the speech of "Is anything different at home?" which totally offended J, not so much me, because I knew they would ask that. Which, nothing has changed at home and if something was different, would people really admit to it?? His teacher, at one point, was looking at my arm, which has a bruise on it from the IV I had for my dental surgery, and she was checking out my tattoo, so I had to pipe up and tell them where the bruise came from. The tattoos I will not make any comments on. They are mine, they are NOT offensive or sexual in nature, so I'm not going to defend them. Besides that, A, who goes to a different school, is doing wonderful, has all year long with only one behavioral issue that he copied from another child. If there were problems at home, wouldn't he be having issues as well??

We got to hear how he gets mad at his Math and Homeroom teacher and stops off and slams things and cries when asked to redo something, or to do something that's a little more neater. We got to hear how our son, who is WAY above average in reading and is a good student in reading, but he just can't form a normal straight sentence. We got to learn that he has lots of friends, even though he has told me that he doesn't have that many. And that all the homework we spend doing with him never gets turned in.  I have no idea where it goes or what he does with it. He says he puts it on her desk and when she goes to find it, she says she can't and blames him. He is literally in tears telling us he does turn them in.

So who in the fuck do I believe?? My son, who is crying, and pretty much begging me with his eyes to believe him, or the teacher who says he doesn't turn anything back in??

Also, we got told that he was the one of the top students in his Math class and has now fallen to the very bottom. How does one do that in just a few months time?!  He always seems to want to be the first one finished and thinks he's on some sort of time limit when he's not. The only time limit they have is when they do those stupid time tests. I always hated those things.

We got told that he can do things out loud. He does fine with oral things, but when it comes to writing it down, he can't seem to get it right on paper.

We were told that if he didn't straighten up in Math, that he could go into the Special Ed Math and they all shook their heads and said he would never learn anything in there if that happened. SO WHY EVEN BRING IT UP?!! So the cycle of him not learning anything can continue?? They all say he's smart, wonderful, sensitive and very bright. So what exactly would putting him in a Special Ed Math Class do for him then?

I have been staying up at night, and handwriting Math problems and sentences that he has to correct and word problems he has to solve. They say to only work 15-20 minutes at a time with him at home if he has Math homework and then let him take a break. Everyone tells me to let him have pennies to count and add and subtract and that's fine for at home, but he can't take the pennies with him to school! This summer vacation will be filled with Math, and Writing and learning how to stay calm and check things again when asked to.

I am just at a loss as to what to do!! Why do I feel like there is something else going on and I need to get to the bottom of it, but can't focus my attention on that right now because he needs all the help he can get with the problems sitting before us?!

He is displaying all of the characteristics I had during my school years, and it's not a trend I want him to see him follow.


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