Monday, June 18, 2012
So, my house is not dirty or filthy, but I've decided that I'm going to do something every day. At least 5 things a day. I have to get out of the mindset that if I really clean a lot and everything one day, that I can take the next 2 days off. This only does one thing: Makes just a big of a mess as it was 2 days ago.
The dishes get loaded and cleaned once a day. I put in all the breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes and run them at night when everyone is asleep and not using dishes. But my biggest BIGGEST thing that I don't do a lot is unload the dishwasher. I have such a bad habit of leaving dishes in there and picking them out as I need them. It annoys my husband to no end. He hates when I do that. Can't say I blame him.
But, that's one of the many things that I'm going to try to work on as I work on a schedule. I think I'll make one at night for the next day. Work small, by doing a daily schedule and then work my way up to maybe a weekly one. I think I can do this! J helps a lot with the cleaning and stuff like that, but I'd like to be able to tell him to sit down and enjoy his weekend without having to do laundry with me. Which, right now, the laundry situation is HEAVEN. No school clothes, and my kids run around in their tighty whities unless we go outside or somewhere.
I was talking to my Mom today, and we got into the conversation of finishing things you start. I don't think she meant to hurt my feelings, but she did kind of make me think that maybe I am the worlds worst at wanting to start something, or starting something and not having the drive to finish it. She said I was just like my Dad. But, there's a 30+ year divorce history of hate they still seem to cling to. I don't think I could hate someone for that long, and honestly, I don't remember my Dad being as bad as she says sometimes. I know he's not innocent, and there are still things I don't know. So when she said that I have no drive, no push, no ambition and I was just like my Dad, I was a little taken aback. But, maybe she is right. I wanted to do so much with my life, but either can't, won't, or don't feel like I'd be able to do it.
I never thought I've had self esteem issues, but maybe I do a little because I always seem to second and third guess myself and my mind wins over my heart. I don't want to be that kind of an example to my children. I want and have always encouraged them to follow through with everything they do. Hopefully, they won't be as much of a screw up as I've been, apparently.
So I'm off to make my new daily list of at least 5 things to to around my house. Hopefully, we can de-clutter some of our closets and it will really start being organized!