Tuesday, May 15, 2012

It's been

It's been months, but I still find myself picking up the phone to call you.
It's been weeks, but I know we've grown apart.
It's been days, but I still wonder if you're having a good one.
It's been minutes, but I still wonder if you've reached your goals yet.
It's been seconds, but I wonder if you've even thought of me at all.

Sounds so corny. Like I'm talking about an ex-boyfriend or something, but I'm not. It's kind of heartbreaking when you spent so much time with another person, only in the end, to not be a part of that person's life at all. I know we all change. I know lives go in separate directions and friendships sway. They are either strong enough to stand, or they're not. I always thought I was a good friend to others, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm only the type of friend people want around when THEY want me around. Maybe I'm too abrasive or loud or just plain stupid. I have no clue.

Welcome to my pity party. We all get them from time to time and this is my time. My one ovary and tube is sending out enough hormones to make me emotional and I hate it. Weepy, sensitive, irrational, emotional, hungry, thoughtful, doubtful. You name it, I probably got it. Excuse me while I go find something to eat to make myself feel better for the 10 seconds it take to eat it and until I realize that I'm way too fat to be even eating it in the first place so then I feel even worse and go grab something else to eat to make myself feel even worse about myself than I did to begin with.

Prozac anyone?


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