Friday, February 19, 2010

Have you ever

Have you ever gone back in the past to try and look things up. To see if you find anything you missed out on at the time? Or, just to remember. Something? Anything?

I do this on occasion. I admit I still look up or try to look up my late husband's obituary online. Even though, right at this moment, it is tucked away in the closet that is just a few feet from where I am sitting now. How odd of me, I know. I love J..I feel like he is my soul mate, my one and only and the one I will be with for the rest of my life, no matter what. I guess it's a way of seeing where I was to where I am now. There's no doubting that my life has taken a HUGE change from where I was. Even though, at the very end of his life, my late husband and I did not get along and divorce did seem very very likely, I still think about how he was before he got sick and then depressed and eventually just down right mean. He was a good man who loved his son, for sure. But I doubt, that if he was still alive today, that we would be married.

Kinda of weird to think about those kinds of things., I guess.

Life always has lots of questions, just never any answers.

1 Comment:

  1. Carrie said...
    Not that I'm happy you would have gotten divorced or that he died (obviously!), but I definitely think you and Josh are a much better fit than you and Tim were. Josh just seems to get you (and your friends) better and you seem much happier!

Post a Comment