Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I met J 3 months after my first husband died. I met him in September and married him in December. Why so soon after my first husband? I have no idea. I do know that fate seemed to be pushing us together. Our likes and dislikes were the same. We had similar interests. I really really loved being around him. While we were dating (he lived 35 minutes from me), I would get so excited and had the butterflies in my stomach when he told me he was coming over, or we had a date. He made me feel so loved and so cared for. And for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful, I felt like I was really really pretty and couldn't believe I had someone, let alone a man, tell me that I was beautiful. My self esteem, for the most part, is pretty good. I have great friends that I care about, I have a best friend that I really treat like my sister, even though we have argued on occasions. My point is: I never needed a man to tell me I was pretty. But for some reason, when J did, my whole world lit up.
As a dare, I completed a profile on Yahoo Personals. I never really thought I'd get any hits. To my surprise, I got 7 or 8 within the first day. I couldn't respond to them because I hadn't paid to actually carry on conversations with these guys. I wasn't going to pay either. I think you could respond by sending them a "Hi" or something, but if you wanted a full out conversation, you had to pay by the month. So I guess they (and I, for that matter) lost interest in talking with them. I found most of them boring, or self centered. On the 4th day of having my profile up and a couple days after I stopped talking to the other guys, J sent me a message. I still decided I was not going to pay to talk to these guys. But the oddest thing happened. I never once had to pay to talk to J on there. I could send long messages and give him my messenger I.D.'s so we could talk. 24 hours later, I could no longer send him messages. Very odd. Anyhow, so now that he had my messenger I.D.'s, we could talk as long as we wanted. And we did. I remember talking to him for 10 hours one night! Only stopping to go to the bathroom, eat and take a shower. 10 hours. Too funny.
I hate doing anything without J by my side. Most people would find that annoying, but I enjoy doing things with my husband.
He's sometimes a bit clingy and can giggle like a school girl when he's had too much to drink. But he's fun to be around. I can't imagine a life without my husband. I know it sounds corney, but he is the very best thing that has ever happened to me.