Monday, February 16, 2009
Dear Aunt Flow,
First, you decide to not show for over 4 months, putting me in the position to spend money on a doctor who turned out to be quite the quack. Then you decide it wasn't enough and I had the wonderful encounter with the dildo cam and blood draws and ER visits. Wonderful times. Thanks for that.
BUT, you didn't stop there. You decided to show up on Valentine's Day. Of ALL the days you could have picked, it was that day. But I got the last laugh on that one. It wasn't like J and I were doin' the bedtime boogy anyhow. I have to thank the wonderful hernia for that.
Oh wait, or are you in cahoots with the hernia to make sure that everything is messed up at all times? OOoooOo...sneaky sneaky sneaky! Here I thought I had the upper hand.
Not to worry, I'll take care of your partner in crime soon enough. Mwahahahaha.
Also, please stop with the massive cramps and the horrid bleeding. It's not my fault you were gone for all these months, so you shouldn't punish me for it.
Go away now.