Friday, January 16, 2009

Bad Thing

Still waiting for my little monthly friend. In this case, she's over 3 months late now. But, I'll still take her back if she decides to show. With open arms. I've always been taught that not having your period is a bad thing. Unless the doctor finds nothing wrong, of course. I'm still having pain on my right side and still just waiting. I'm hopeful. Sunday is my last day on Provera so it should be here soon. I keep thinking that maybe it's my Prozac that has messed me up, or maybe I'm stressed out from S's new found love of not listening to me and being a total buttmunch all the time. Or maybe it's due to J always talking about wanting a trach in his throat to solve his hate of his apnea mask and it freaks me out. Or maybe it's the fact that we are putting A (who will be 2 in March) in a big boy bed this weekend. Thus, ending the reign of "babies" in the house.

There will be no more babies to cuddle, no more baby scent. No more first smiles, or learning how to sit up. No more taking those first steps, and walking that adorable little toddle style walking. I'm getting old, and my babies are getting older and it's just not fair.

I'm going to sign S up for Head Start in March, just another reminder that indeed, time does march on. On one hand, I know he'll be excited and probably thrive in a school environment, but on the other, I don't want him to go and leave me all day. I'll go all day without hearing his little voice, or answering questions that have no meaning really, he just asks them out of curiosity. And his poor brother, what will A do while S is gone? He will surely miss his brother, even if they do annoying the living shit out of each other right now.

Ack..on to other things before I get too far down...

It's cold. Freekin cold! It's 6 degrees here, but that doesn't count the wind chill. I know my home state of Ohio is digging out from a snow storm. I love snow, but, from a distance. Ha! I'm sure both of my boys would LOVE LOVE LOVE being outside in snow.

I have to go to bed, I don't know what my deal is, but I can't ever seem to get into bed before 4a.m. I was hoping to be in bed around 2 at least! Guess I gotta go to the regular doc for more help with that!


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