Thursday, November 20, 2008
This year might be different. I'm actually starting to feel some holiday spirit creep in. I don't know why all the other years, I've been indifferent towards Christmas. When I got married to my first husband, he had a son. I loved Christmas then. His son made it fun for me! Then after my first husband died, that spirit kind of dwindled because there was noone to share it with.
The only thing that is going to kind of suck is that J's mom and dad loved Christmas, and J's dad died a couple weeks before Christmas. I expect him to be a little more gloomier when it rolls around. Especially since we are back in his childhood home. I hope seeing the boys so happy and excited will trump those feelings a little. Of course I don't expect him to hide his feelings all the time, but I'll just love him and hug him more that day.
Anyhow..even las year, I wasn't that into it. Maybe now that my kids are older and they are seeing the lights, and all the decorations up and I see them getting excited. Even A, as little as he is, gets excited when he sees a Christmas tree. I doubt we'll get pictures with Santa with A, but I'm more than sure S will sit on Santa's lap!
Prozac is going well. Even though I am having some horrid headaches, which may or may not be the cause of the meds, I still feel I need to stay on them. I feel better. You know how, deep down, you feel great. Well, I can honestly say that I feel 95% better than I did before. It's wonderful. Less grouchy mommy and wife and I roll alot easier with the punches.
My meds for my back are doing good too! I'm so happy to be feeling well again. The only thing that hasn't changed much is my sleeping. I'm still going to bed and not falling asleep well and staying asleep. Don't know what my deal is. Doc did give me sleep meds, but only the sample pack and they didn't work. I think they were called Restoril. Ambien starts to not work for me after a while, because I need a more long term solution, and Trazodone leaves me short of breath.
But I am off here, till another day!