Thursday, February 21, 2013

Another Fine Mess

Well, that's another fine mess you've gotten us into.

And by "you've", I mean me and by "us", I mean me.


So it finally happened. The teeth I was supposed to get pulled a long long time ago, finally gave it up and decided to fall all apart on me. I knew it was going to happen, but, see, I suffer from something called "Dental Phobia". I may make it into the Dentist's office once..but probably never again for a long long time. I can't remember the last time my teeth were cleaned. 15..maybe even up to 20 years ago, possibly even longer.

So I went to the Dentist on Wednesday. I arrived early so I could sit in the car and work through my panic..letting it flow and ebb and come to enough of a resting place so that I could go in and do it all over again in the waiting room. Then again all over again when I was sitting in the actual chair. Good thing the doctor was busy and I had time to fully work through my panic and not burst into tears when he walked into the room. All I had done today was 2 x-rays and he gently looked into my mouth. Only scraping a couple of places before he realized I was shaking and had tears in my eyes and my hands were ghost white and I was dripping with sweat and shaking so bad it would make a Parkinson's patient embarrassed.

Yeah, I went there. Only because it was that bad.

Normally, I go with what the doctor suggests, only because I want to get my fat ass out that front door so fast that I don't state what I want done. This time, I knew that my teeth were getting bad enough that I needed to speak up for myself and I did. Normally, I'm the type of person who states what they want, how they want it done and when. But, not at the dentist's office. It's the ONLY doctor that I totally don't care what's being said as long as it makes it quicker for me to get out of there.

So, I told him to not take offense, but if he did not IV sedate me, and fix EVERYTHING at once, that I would likely go to another dentist that would, and/or, he would not see me back in one of his chairs for a very very long time. He agreed and even said that he could do a cleaning with me sedated. After that, we got along great.

I'm not going to lie. I need a lot of work done. I need about 4-5 fillings, two extractions and a cleaning. That doesn't seem like much, but the list on the paperwork he gave me, it ended up being around $650.00 for our portion. It might even be a little more than that or less than that, depending on a few things. Since we've gotten our tax return back, money is not really the problem, but we don't want to spend money on things that don't really need done 100% right now and there is another dentist I could go to to get some of the other fillings done at a later date. My problem is, I probably won't do it at a later date and I'll be back in this same position in another 2-3 years. So getting it all done and over with while I'm under IV sedation is practically the only thing that sounds plausible at this point in time.

I know this is no one's fault but my own, it just sucks that I have this anxiety, it sucks that some family and friends think that I'm some weirdo or wimp because I have so much anxiety. Or they think I'm some sort of druggie looking for a fix. That's so not true either. I don't have anxiety about much. Storms that produce tornadoes and then the dentist's office is about the extent of my anxiety. Once in a great great while, I'll get so stressed out that I'll feel myself slipping into a panic attack and I'll have to remove myself from that situation, but I can get it under control pretty quickly.

I've always had my anxiety about the dentist, but I think the anxiety about the storms came later in life, when I had children. The need to keep them safe and sound and living is very high on my list. Even though they are children are my heart and soul. They are my life. My husband is my partner and my love. But my children are my life. They are the only ones that matter.

So, for the sake of my children, and not wanting to get all these horrible problems that bad teeth cause, these suckers have got to come out and I've got to get healthy. My next step in a couple years is weight loss surgery. I think I could master that like a champ.


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