Monday, February 11, 2008
What a difference between children!
For S's first birthday, I was diagnosed with "lingering p.pd" and I cried off and on clear up to the day of the party. Then I got too busy to cry. But those days leading up to his party where complete emotional hell for me. I've heard it's common in mom's with preemie's. Looking at pictures of his birthday, you could have never been able to notice I was on Zoloft. Or maybe you could seeing as how fakely happy I was. I mean. Don't get me wrong. I was so so happy to have my baby with me, thriving and enjoying his family being around him. But I really do think I just plastered a fake smile on for the day. It took me a month to plan for S's birthday. I was on the ball! I had things done, and plans made and I was ready.
Not so much. His birthday is coming up very fast. I've got a ton of stuff to do, and can't compile my thoughts long enough to get it done! My husband isn't much of a planner. He kind of lets me get what I want, and just supplies the money to do so. If it were up to him, it would only be a few close people, not his whole family! But I feel first birthdays are special, and always do a big first birthday. The others are ok for just small family occassions.
So here I go, off to research and plan and take notes!